"You Can't Come, Kate" Coconut Cupcakes

So, LOST ended. 

And I might as well tell you right now that if you haven't watched the finale yet you can just scroll right to the bottom of the post for the cupcake goodness, cause there will probably be spoilers in this post. 

I watched a stray episode or two of the first season when it originally aired, but I had a lot of other stuff on my plate in 2004 and didn't latch on to the show the way I later would. 

In 2006 I hit a low point. Basically, I was in New York, dirt poor, had no real career to speak of, and had just gotten out of the most destructive relationship I'd ever been in. I pretty much dealt with the astounding depression by never, ever, ever leaving my bed, and steadily gaining approximately 20 pounds. Awesome, right? 

Not that LOST saved me or anything. I owe that to my unrelentingly fantastic friends and my own weird determination to keep on keepin' on regardless of what I'm up against. But sometime before I decided to get out of my bed I figured--since I'm just laying around ANYWAY--I might as well give this crazy TV show everyone is always talking about a shot. And then I watched the first three seasons in a week and a half. I've been hooked ever since. 

Since moving to Minnesota, David and I have been watching this final season of LOST with some of his cousins and their significant others. We alternate hosting and providing dinner, drinks, and dessert. It's a pretty sweet set up, because you only have to be responsible for one thing per week, which takes the pressure off. 

I volunteered to bring dessert for the finale; mainly because I have been wanting to try these pineapple flowers FOREVER and needed an excuse. I figured I'd go all tropical with my dessert to pay homage to the Island in my own humble way (and because, you know, pineapples are tropical) and came up with Coconut Cupcakes filled with Key Lime Curd topped with Cream Cheese Frosting and Pineapple Flowers. 

Originally, I wanted to use mango curd and planned to make my own using the ever-incredible Smitten Kitchen's recipe. But that would have taken a lot of time and effort, and I had already committed myself to 6 hours of making dried pineapple flowers. And, really? There's only so much time in the day. So I punked out and used store-bought Key Lime Curd instead. Sorry.

I have to admit, I was disappointed in the finale. But, ok, I didn't HATE it like I first swore I did. Maybe. I haven't gathered my thoughts quite yet. I used to dash off abrasive and rather hilariously pointed recaps of LOST for my friend Russ via email when he was unable to watch episodes. The tradition has since died, but he requested that I recap the finale for him, and I've promised to do so. Most of my legitimate thoughts on the show have gone into that thus far, and I'm left with only very incredulous caps-lock-y shrieks of outrage (CRAPPY AFTER-LIFE? FREAKING GOLDEN LIGHT OF HUMANITY? SAYID AND SHANNON, SERIOUSLY? SERIOUSLY?!)

But mostly, and above all else: I hate Kate. I have always hated Kate. Kate ruins everything. She is an everything ruiner. Everyone is constantly telling her that SHE CAN'T COME on whatever little island adventure they're having that day. They tell her this because if she comes, she will RUIN EVERYTHING. But does she listen? Hell no. BECAUSE SHE SUCKS. 

She for sure cannot have any of these cupcakes. 

"YOU CAN'T COME, KATE" Coconut Cupcakes 
Adapted from Simply Recipes

Ingredients

• 3/4 cup of unsalted butter, softened
• 1 1/4 cup of sugar
• 3 eggs, room temperature
• 1 cup of canned coconut milk
• 1 teaspoon of vanilla extract
• 1/2 teaspoon of almond extract
• 2 1/4 cups of flour
• 1 teaspoon of salt
• 1 teaspoon of baking powder
• 1/2 cup of sweetened desiccated coconut

Directions

Preheat the oven to 350 F. Cream together the butter and sugar. Add eggs one at a time, mixing well after each additions. Add vanilla, almond extract, and coconut milk. In a separate bowl combine flour, salt, and baking powder. Slowly add the dry mixture to the wet mixture a little bit at a time. Mix well after each addition. Gently fold in coconut. Bake for 18 to 20 minutes, or until a toothpick comes out clean. Cool on a rack completely before frosting. 

Cream Cheese Frosting

Ingredients

• 1 package of cream cheese (Philly admittedly works best), softened 
• 1 stick of butter, softened
• 1-2 cups of powdered sugar

Directions

Cream together cream cheese and butter. Add powdered sugar slowly, mixing after each addition, until frosting reaches desired consistency. 

Dried Pineapple Flowers

Adapted from Axis of Ævil

Directions

Heat oven to lowest setting and cover a baking sheet with parchment paper. Peel pineapple and slice thinly crosswise (not too thin, or it will burn). Bake for 3-4 hours, turning over with tongs about every hour, or whenever tops begin to look dry. Remove from oven and place on a rack to cool for a few hours. When flowers are dry but still pliable use a flower cookie cutter, or hand shape the petals using a good pair of kitchen shears (I opted for the latter because I don't own any cookie cutters, but I really liked the control the shears gave me). Grip each flower by the center and gently pull petals upward to create a more realistic look. Return to the rack to finish drying. 

Kate hate forever!

Excuses from the Guilt-Ridden

Reasons I Haven’t Updated My Blog Since February

1. I’m busy.
2. I haven’t cooked or baked anything worth writing about.
3. I’ve cooked and baked plenty worth writing about, but forgot to take pictures of the deliciousness.
4. I’m sick of posting only about food.
5. I’m tired.
6. I’m lazy.
7. I’m homesick.
8. I never do anything interesting.
9. I’ve done loads of interesting stuff, but don’t have any pictures to prove it.
10. I’ve done interesting stuff, and have pictures to prove it, but I look ugly in them and am still inexplicably too vain to post ugly pictures of myself on the internet.
11. I’ve done interesting stuff, and have plenty of pictures in which I look great while doing said stuff, and I am more than happy to plaster flattering pictures of myself on the internet—however, the hard drive on my computer is COMPLETELY full and I don’t yet have the money saved up for an external and thus cannot upload photos for love or money and we all know that a blog post without pictures is LAME.
12. The fact that my audience is so varied (hi mom, dad, grandparents, friends, former coworkers, significant others’ family, former clients, former high school classmates I am once again in touch with thanks to the slightly awkward magic of facebook, and random strangers from the internet!) severely limits the scope of what I feel comfortable writing about. And everybody loves food, right? Right! Except as mentioned in #4 I’m sort of sick of posting about food. Conundrum!
13. Writing is hard.
14. Writing consistently is particularly hard.
15. I have notoriously terrible follow-through.
16. I’ve been reading a string of epic fantasies—from the literary to the moderately trashy—one after the other over the last month, and pretty much spend all my free time inhaling those books as opposed to doing anything else, ever. It’s an odd phase, and it will pass, but for the moment I am consumed.
17. I’m boring.
18. I’m still suspicious about my own motives for keeping a blog. My previous blogging experience consisted entirely of a handful of livejournal accounts, so, yeah.
19. I've been too busy theorizing about LOST and being devastated by the fact that [SPOILER] Kate hasn't been killed off yet. I hate Kate.
20. You know how you put something off, and put it off, and put it off, and it just becomes impossible to pick it back up again? Yeah, that.

PS. I started this list, like, a week before I got around to posting it. I have an external hard drive now. Pictures will be uploaded. Posts will be posted. You will witness the impossible. 

xoxo