Sunday, May 16, 2010

Excuses from the Guilt-Ridden

Reasons I Haven’t Updated My Blog Since February
  1. I’m busy.
  2. I haven’t cooked or baked anything worth writing about.
  3. I’ve cooked and baked plenty worth writing about, but forgot to take pictures of the deliciousness.
  4. I’m sick of posting only about food.
  5. I’m tired.
  6. I’m lazy.
  7. I’m homesick.
  8. I never do anything interesting.
  9. I’ve done loads of interesting stuff, but don’t have any pictures to prove it.
  10. I’ve done interesting stuff, and have pictures to prove it, but I look ugly in them and am still inexplicably too vain to post ugly pictures of myself on the internet.
  11. I’ve done interesting stuff, and have plenty of pictures in which I look great while doing said stuff, and I am more than happy to plaster flattering pictures of myself on the internet—however, the hard drive on my computer is COMPLETELY full and I don’t yet have the money saved up for an external and thus cannot upload photos for love or money and we all know that a blog post without pictures is LAME.
  12. The fact that my audience is so varied (hi mom, dad, grandparents, friends, former coworkers, significant others’ family, former clients, former high school classmates I am once again in touch with thanks to the slightly awkward magic of facebook, and random strangers from the internet!) severely limits the scope of what I feel comfortable writing about. And everybody loves food, right? Right! Except as mentioned in #4 I’m sort of sick of posting about food. Conundrum!
  13. Writing is hard.
  14. Writing consistently is particularly hard.
  15. I have notoriously terrible follow-through.
  16. I’ve been reading a string of epic fantasies—from the literary to the moderately trashy—one after the other over the last month, and pretty much spend all my free time inhaling those books as opposed to doing anything else, ever. It’s an odd phase, and it will pass, but for the moment I am consumed.
  17. I’m boring.
  18. I’m still suspicious about my own motives for keeping a blog. My previous blogging experience consisted entirely of a handful of livejournal accounts, so, yeah.
  19. I've been too busy theorizing about LOST and being devastated by the fact that [SPOILER] Kate hasn't been killed off yet. I hate Kate.
  20. You know how you put something off, and put it off, and put it off, and it just becomes impossible to pick it back up again? Yeah, that.

PS. I started this list, like, a week before I got around to posting it. I have an external hard drive now. Pictures will be uploaded. Posts will be posted. You will witness the impossible. 



  1. Yay!

    I check in once a day, just to be sure I haven't missed anything (even if it shows up on FB that you've posted...).

  2. Re: Posting pictures. I actually had my first dream starring people from the Internet about a week ago. It was some kind of convention thing. You were there (and Jan, I think, I don't remember much about it). The one thing I do remember is that I was completely fascinated that you looked exactly like your pictures, for some reason. I think I may have made comments to that effect enough times that people in the dream went from being amused to being a little annoyed with me. Anyhow, reasons 10-11 reminded me of that and made me smile.

  3. Yay for external hard drives. Because I AM the mother I get to respond to each and every excuse.
    1. Seriously. Haven't you heard the more you do - the more you can do. Repeat after me...
    2. So write about the why's and where's of not having any food related items to write about. Every day can't be gourmet.
    3. I will spank you. Get the camera out.
    4. And who says this blog needs to be about food and food only. Mundane, mundane, find the beauty (or the ugly) in the mundane.
    5. Hmm, I get tired. Set your timer for 20 minutes and 20 minutes only lay down close your eyes no TV no music, maybe a meditation tape. Then get UP and drink a large cold glass of water. Tell yourself your refreshed until you believe it.
    6. You - lazy. Watch the show hoarders, that will cure you.
    7. Come Home, SOB! Alright, Minnesota it is. Call me - we'll make each other laugh and cry, it's cleansing.
    8. I'll tell you someone who's never done anything interesting - hmmm. I don't know anyone who isn't interesting. Spend a day pretending you're someone who is interesting - therefore, do interesting things, surround yourself with interesting people, and it doesn't have to cost $$. Go sing. please. Join a local theatre group, storytellers group, ASL group. You have such interesting potential, you can learn about and participate in most anything. Go. Do.
    10. See number 3.
    11. In case you think pictures are all that. I have thoroughly enjoyed our correspondence - not a photo in site.
    12. Hi Kelly, that's me jumping up and down shouting it's me, it's me. Now write what you want - even if I get upset - I still totally believe in your right to write! anything.
    13. Drilling into someone's skull to preform brain surgery is hard too. But someone's gotta do it.
    14. You must hate making your bed. You know, you have to make that darn thing every day! But when it's time to go to bed don't you love climing into a made bed?
    15. Oh that's just an excuse. Knock it off.
    16. Trash. You've been reading trash and haven't shared. Shame on you. Is it good trash. I love love love good trash.
    17. See number 15.
    18. Figure it out as you go along. No need to know it all up front.
    19. I'm lost about Lost. Maybe I'll rent it this summer since all the hype will be over, and that's how I roll.
    20. Yeah. I know about that. But let me tell you someday you will be looking at 50 in the mirror and you want to be able to look at it and know that you stretched and reached and grabbed ahold of life, instead of letting it slip slide away. That goes for the Fleur de Sel too, if it's too good to use, one day you'll go to the cabinet and it will be all stuck together and impossible to use. So use it today, use it every day, and enjoy it.

  4. I don't know if it was the intent, but I laughed from start to finish. Bravo! And to your mother!